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SoRight now I dont want to feel
What I probably should
I dont want to have emotions
So I put a block on my mind
Right now I dont want to know
Anything having to do with the truth
Because the truth is too much for me to handle
So I turn away
Right now I only hear what I want to hear
What I want to hear is what you think
But only if it favors me
So I cover my ears
Right now I only see what I want to see
What I want to see is you
But only if you want to see me too
So I keep my head down
Right now I hope you know
Ive never stopped caring for you
I want to voice it but I cant find the words
So I keep quiet
The List, Chapter OneNot a lot of people knew about headquarters. That was good. The fewer people that knew, the fewer people who had to be put on the List. That made everyone at the companys jobs so much easier.
This wasnt like any other normal company, where they filed documents and smiled at aggressive or annoying customers to be polite. In fact, politeness was a quality that the bosses at headquarters discouraged.
Thats because everyone that worked here was an assassin, or the boss of an assassin. This job was messy, and they were not worried about customer satisfaction, unless the customer was someone that hired them. If those customers werent satisfied, they could become very dangerous, because most people that hired them would be killing the people they told the company to if they didnt want to stay out of trouble.
The reason they stayed out of trouble once they hired the company is because if one of their workers were too messy with a job, the cliental were
This ConversationYou ask if everythings alright
I tell you what I wouldnt tell anyone else-
Is it you?
Of course it is, and you know it
So you say it must be
Im forever silent
Lost in thought
Searching for answers
I know that it doesnt matter what I think, feel, or say
Because weve had these conversations
A million times over
I would say I wish I could tell you what I feel
But I already have
And you never listen
AttentionMy breath doesnt catch
When Im with you
My stomach doesnt flip
When Im with you
My pulse doesnt quicken
When Im with you
So now I ask myself
Am I in this because I like you
Or because I like the attention?
Tell MeI think you care more than you let on
I know I do.
I think you tell me only what you think makes me happy
I tell you the truth.
If youre hurt,
Tell me youre hurt.
If you truly dont care,
Tell me so I can spare my aching heart.
If you dont want me to be with him,
Tell me even though I might not listen.
You know how I feel
Youre the only person I tell.
Youre the only person who I can tell my true feelings to
And not be uncomfortable or ashamed I admitted them.
I wish things were different
That I could rewind time
But everythings the same.
Come Away UnharmedI hold the weapon
Of miniscule destruction
You do not see me
It is only I that sees you
It wont harm anyone
And everyone who cares for you
Maybe myself, too
Maybe Ill care
But who really knows?
You arent the first and wont be the last
Its the job I was trained to do
The only one Im able to
If I give it up, I would have nowhere to go
So I stay
Watching the lives crumble around me
Ive lost feeling for it really
Ive become adapted
It doesnt bother me anymore too much
For a split second you look up
As if you can hear my thoughts
You glance at me and for a moment
I feel the guilt I should
But only for a moment
Before I do what I was told to do
And you no longer look at me
But instead look at the ground you are sprawled on
I walk away
More harmed than Id planned
Because you werent supposed to see,
See the monster that I havent always been
ConnectionFeel the rhythm
Take a step
Experience the melody
Let it flow through you
Its notes taking shape
In your movements
Dont let anyone stop you
In showing how
It makes you feel
Let the music take over you
Tear through the air
With the swiftness, grace,
And accuracy of a professional
Because in doing what you love
You are a professional
An expert in the arts
A much needed piece
Of the lyrical, flowing puzzle
Even though youre constantly moving
You fit just right
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More